Basic 9 · Social Studies · The Family
Parent-Child Relationships and Resolving Conflict
In this topic you will examine how certain behaviours of children can lead to inappropriate parental reactions, and suggest effective ways of handling parent-child conflicts.
By the end of these notes you should be able to:
- Identify behaviours that cause conflict
- Explain the effects of conflict
- Suggest ways of resolving conflict
What you already know
- Responsible parenting
Copy everything that has a blue line on its left into your notebook. The other parts are for reading.
Lesson 1
- Strand
- Family Life
- Sub-strand
- The Family
- Indicator
- B9.2.2.2.1 – Examine the importance of responsible parenting within the family system
Introduction
As teenagers grow up, they want more freedom. Parents want to keep them safe. These two wishes often clash.
1. Why Conflict Happens
Conflict between parents and children is normal, particularly during adolescence. Teenagers want independence, and they begin to think for themselves. Parents remain responsible, and they worry about risks. Differences between generations add to the problem. Parents grew up in a world without smartphones, and they may not understand their children's pressures. Teenagers, for their part, may not see the reason for rules.
2. Behaviours That Cause Conflict
| Child's behaviour | Parent's concern |
|---|---|
| disobedience | loss of respect |
| coming home late | safety |
| too much phone use | wasted time, online danger |
| poor school performance | future |
| bad company | negative influence |
| lying | loss of trust |
| disrespectful speech | poor manners |
| demanding expensive items | money |
3. Inappropriate Reactions
| Reaction | Effect |
|---|---|
| harsh beating | injury, fear, resentment |
| insults | low self-esteem |
| denying food | harm to health |
| driving the child out | danger on the street |
| favouritism | jealousy |
| ignoring the child | feeling unloved |
Parents, too, can act wrongly when angry. Children may then respond by hiding things, running away or joining bad company. A parent's reaction can make a problem worse or better. Bad behaviour by a child does not justify cruelty.
4. Effects of Conflict
| On children | On parents | On family |
|---|---|---|
| poor school results | stress | broken trust |
| low self-esteem | health problems | quarrels |
| running away | guilt | separation |
| risky behaviour | loss of respect | poor communication |
5. Responsibility on Both Sides
Responsibility for a good relationship belongs to both sides. Children have duties too. Article 41 of the 1992 Constitution lists the duties of all citizens, and the Children's Act expects children to respect their parents. Teenagers should remember the sacrifices that parents make. Parents should remember that their children are becoming adults, and that this needs patience. Respect goes both ways.
New words
- adolescence
- The stage between childhood and adulthood.
- conflict
- A serious disagreement.
- self-esteem
- How a person values themselves.
- favouritism
- Treating one person better than others.
Summary
- Conflict is common in adolescence.
- Children's behaviours and parents' reactions can make it worse.
- Both sides have responsibilities.
Class activity: Two Views
- Write a parent's view of a problem.
- Write a teenager's view.
- Compare them.
You need: Baby cloth, Child health record booklet, Printed Ghanaian family photograph
Exercises
Answer in your exercise book first, then check your answers.
1. Which behaviour can cause conflict?
- A. lying
- B. helping
- C. greeting
- D. studying
Show answer
Answer: lyingBehaviour.2. Which is an inappropriate reaction?
- A. harsh beating
- B. talking calmly
- C. listening
- D. explaining
Show answer
Answer: harsh beatingReaction.3. Conflict is common in adolescence.
- A. True
- B. False
Show answer
Answer: TrueNormal.4. How a person values themselves is self-______.
Show answer
Answer: esteemTerm.5. State three causes of parent-child conflict.
Show answer
Answer: Coming home late, phone use and bad company.Any three.6. Why might harsh punishment make things worse?
Show answer
Answer: Children may hide things, run away or join bad company.Effect.
Lesson 2
- Strand
- Family Life
- Sub-strand
- The Family
- Indicator
- B9.2.2.2.1 – Examine the importance of responsible parenting within the family system
Introduction
Most quarrels at home can be settled with a calm conversation. The hard part is starting it.
1. Communication
| Skill | Example |
|---|---|
| listen | let the other person finish |
| stay calm | do not shout |
| use "I" statements | "I feel worried when..." |
| avoid blame | do not say "you always" |
| show respect | use polite language |
| choose a good time | not when anyone is angry |
"I" statements express feelings without attacking. "I feel upset when you shout at me" is better than "You are always shouting." Parents can say, "I worry when you come home late," and not "You are a bad child."
2. Steps in Resolving Conflict
- Calm down first.
- Agree to talk.
- Listen to each side.
- State the real problem.
- Suggest solutions.
- Agree on one.
- Keep your promises.
- Review it later.
3. Example
Solving a conflict
Ama wants to go to a party that ends at 10 p.m. Her father wants her home by 7 p.m. Find a solution.
- Ama explains why the party matters.
- Her father explains his safety concerns.
- They find a compromise.
Answer: She can go until 8 p.m., and her brother will accompany her
In this example, each side gives up something. This is a compromise. Both feel respected, and trust grows. Next time, Ama's father might give her more freedom, because she kept her promise.
4. Seeking Help
| Person or body | Help provided |
|---|---|
| relatives | mediate between parent and child |
| teachers and counsellors | listen and advise |
| religious leaders | offer guidance |
| Department of Social Welfare | helps families |
| DOVVSU | deals with abuse |
If you are being abused, tell a trusted adult. This is not disrespect. Your safety matters. In a Ghanaian family, an aunt, uncle or grandparent can often talk to a parent in a way that a child cannot.
5. Building Strong Relationships
Prevention is better than cure. Families can eat together, share chores, go to church or mosque together and talk about their day. Parents should praise their children as well as correct them. Children should say thank you and offer to help. Teenagers should ask permission and tell the truth, and this earns trust. A strong relationship built on love and respect can survive any disagreement. Remember too that your parents are learning as they go.
New words
- compromise
- An agreement where each side gives up something.
- mediate
- To help two sides to agree.
- "I" statement
- A sentence stating your own feelings.
- trust
- Belief that someone is reliable.
Summary
- Good communication prevents and solves conflict.
- Follow steps, and aim for a compromise.
- Seek help when needed.
Class activity: Role Play
- Act out a conflict with shouting.
- Act it out again with good communication.
- Discuss the difference.
You need: Baby cloth, Child health record booklet, Printed Ghanaian family photograph
Exercises
Answer in your exercise book first, then check your answers.
1. An agreement where each side gives up something is a…
- A. compromise
- B. conflict
- C. lie
- D. punishment
Show answer
Answer: compromiseTerm.2. Which is an "I" statement?
- A. I feel worried when you are late.
- B. You are always late.
- C. You never listen.
- D. You are bad.
Show answer
Answer: I feel worried when you are late.Skill.3. Telling a trusted adult about abuse is not disrespect.
- A. True
- B. False
Show answer
Answer: TrueSafety.4. To help two sides to agree is to ______.
Show answer
Answer: mediateTerm.5. State three communication skills.
Show answer
Answer: Listening, staying calm and using "I" statements.Any three.6. How does keeping promises help a teenager?
Show answer
Answer: It builds trust, so parents may give more freedom.Trust.
Homework
- Talk with a parent or guardian about one family rule, and write what you agreed.